My counselling program focused on infidelity is all about healing. The program is intended to help couples by providing a roadmap to recovery. Couples counselling/marriage counselling focused on infidelity will provide couples with principles to consider over treatment and specific interventions to help manage the difficulties they may be experiencing.


Treatment unfolds in three stages:

1. Helping couples manage with the immediate crisis of the affair (when it has become discovered and acknowledged)
2. Helping understand the variables (or reasons) that may have to contributed to a partner’s decision to have an affair.
3. Helping couples move ahead with acceptance and ultimately forgiveness (forgiveness is always a choice).

I just found out that my partner has been having an affair. What do I do now? 

When someone comes to understand that their partner has betrayed them, it can be pretty devastating. The process of finding out that someone you love has hurt you can bring a whirlwind of emotions that can certainly bring instability and uncomfortable feelings. I have long worked with people who struggle with coming to understand that their partner has been unfaithful. Part of the work I do is to help people manage those difficult emotions and help them pick up the pieces so they can continue to function despite this trauma that has happened in their relationship. I help each patient, along with their partner, work on developing a plan to manage the crisis. This may mean choosing a few people they trust to confide in to get support as they navigate through this difficult time. I do prioritize patients who are in the crisis stage to help them manage the difficult conversations and emotions that they may experience during this time. I also help facilitate difficult conversations so that escalated conflict is minimized. The goal for therapy at this point is to help manage difficult emotions, figure out what the goal is for therapy, and stabilize the relationship.

Grounding yourself during this difficult time could be particularly important. This may mean finding activities to separate yourself from the situation and decompressing without ruminating about the details of the affair. This may mean watching a comedy, engaging in a workout, or even talking to a friend about other things beyond what has happened in your relationship. Scheduling time to talk about the situation is also important. There are guidelines on how to speak about the affair with your partner, but considering engaging in open dialogue about the event, it may be best to do so when you are regulated and willing to listen. It won't be easy to hear, but if you are able to have these conversations with me or another therapist, it could help both of you during this difficult time. Practicing self-care, eating, showering and managing your responsibilities is also necessary for healing.


Can a couple survive infidelity? 

Yes, most people who attend counselling have a greater chance of surviving the trauma of a betrayal. About 95% of my couples continue to have successful relationships after an affair. Of course, every situation is different, but counselling is a great start to help build a better foundation for your relationship. Counselling will also help expedite healing to get your life back to normal.