A cyber-affair (also known as cyper-infidelity) happens when a partner in a committed relationship uses social media or other internent platform to break promises, vows, or agreements related to exclusivity. This new form of infidelity presents as a challenge for both therapist and client as it forces both to reconsider the concept of cheating.
Many individuals who discover their partner is cheating with someone through social media or online platforms describe being just as devastated as compared to a traditional affair, even though no physical contact has been made.
Cyber affairs happen:
- In chat rooms where people share a common interest.
- Messaging someone through social media like instagram or facebook
- visiting sites that promote affairs
The engagements between the individuals may start off as casual but may become increasingly more invovled as the exhanges become more of value to each person and the desire to engage becomes increasingly more difficult to manage. It may be the somethign the person looks forward too or fantasize about. There may even be a point where sxual messages may be exchanged. The messages may also include video messages that contain images of their bodies.
A psychologist consult may be best to consider to better understand the behaviour. Suppose the individual is behaving in a sexually compulsive manner- In that case, a treatment plan can be developed to help bring stability and awareness to the behaviours. A distinction will need to be made to determine if the person is sexually addicted or if it is to be considered a cyber infidelity.
There are three characteristics that all individuals with addictions have in common: loss of control to stop the addictive behaviour, the behaviour continuing despite dire consequences, and preoccupation with the addictive behaviour. The addiction cycle starts with thoughts of sex, preoccupation with satisfying the sexual need, and then guilt and remorse until the cycle begins again.
