Published: 12 November 2025

Gambling disorder doesn't just harm the person placing bets. It ripples outward, affecting partners, families, and especially romantic relationships. A recent Spanish study examined how communication patterns and emotional regulation influence relationship satisfaction when one partner struggles with gambling addiction, revealing insights that could improve treatment approaches.

The Hidden Toll on Relationships

When people seek treatment for gambling disorder in Spain, financial problems top the list of consequences. But family conflicts come in a close second, affecting more than a quarter of those in treatment. Despite this, research has barely scratched the surface of how gambling addiction impacts family dynamics and romantic partnerships.

Gambling disorder is classified as a behavioral addiction in modern diagnostic systems. It involves persistent, problematic gambling that causes significant distress or impairment in daily life. The consequences extend far beyond empty bank accounts to include mental and physical health problems, work difficulties, and the breakdown of family relationships through divorce, separation, or loss of custody.

Partners of people with gambling problems face their own set of challenges. Research shows they experience higher rates of mental and physical health issues compared to the general population, along with increased tobacco and alcohol use. Interpersonal conflict, divorce, and separation are common. Alarmingly, female partners of men with gambling disorder experience domestic violence at higher rates than women in the general population.

Communication as a Foundation

Theories about romantic relationships emphasize communication as fundamental to how relationships evolve over time. The quality of communication affects how partners subjectively evaluate their relationship, their sense of satisfaction, and the degree to which they experience intimacy, affection, and mutual support.

Positive communication involves reasoning, problem solving, and showing supportive, affectionate behavior. Negative communication includes belittling, blaming, and displaying hostility or contempt. Research consistently shows that positive patterns increase satisfaction while negative patterns erode it.

Partners of gamblers often report feeling lonely in their relationships. This loneliness connects to taking on financial and family responsibilities that create inequality, and feeling unable to burden their partner during treatment. Many describe living parallel lives despite sharing a home, lacking emotional and physical intimacy, and slipping into a parental role that changes relationship dynamics and eliminates their partner's support.

Trust issues stemming from lies and deception create additional barriers. Dishonesty becomes a recurring theme that undermines the foundation of the relationship.

Measuring Relationship Satisfaction

Studies comparing couples affected by gambling disorder to control couples reveal stark differences. Compared to unaffected couples, gamblers perceive more conflict and less trust, along with reduced willingness from partners to help. Their partners report less emotional connection and lower overall relationship quality.

Interestingly, research shows that both partners often report lower relationship adjustment than the general population, regardless of which gender has the gambling problem. Greater severity of gambling disorder correlates with worse relationship adjustment. However, some studies find that partners, particularly women, report significantly lower satisfaction than the gamblers themselves.

This gap in how each partner perceives the relationship raises important questions. While both may experience relationship deterioration as gambling continues, the partner without the gambling problem often feels the impact more acutely, perhaps due to greater awareness of the dysfunction or shouldering more of the practical and emotional burden.

The Role of Emotional Regulation

People with gambling disorder consistently show greater difficulty regulating emotions compared to the general population. Emotional dysregulation involves struggles with emotional awareness and understanding, accepting emotions, maintaining goal directed behavior when experiencing unpleasant feelings, and flexibly employing strategies to manage emotional responses.

For gamblers, difficulties appear particularly in identifying emotions and in selecting and implementing effective regulation strategies. This makes emotional regulation a central target for treatment and recovery.

Partners of gamblers also experience significant emotional difficulties. They report anger, resentment, depression, suicidal thoughts, confusion, hopelessness, stress, anxiety, guilt, and feelings of responsibility for the addiction. Research links emotional dysregulation to lower relationship satisfaction and to perceiving that partners communicate negatively.

Some evidence suggests that gamblers turn to gambling specifically to regulate difficult emotions that arise after relationship conflicts. When facing disagreements, maladaptive coping strategies from partners can generate unpleasant emotions that gamblers then try to manage through gambling. Conversely, adaptive communication strategies from partners might support recovery.

What the Spanish Study Found

The recent study involved 30 people: 15 men diagnosed with gambling disorder and their 15 female partners. All were connected to rehabilitation associations in Spain, either currently in treatment or having completed it. The researchers measured relationship satisfaction, positive communication, and emotional dysregulation in both partners.

The results revealed that partners scored significantly lower on relationship satisfaction than the gamblers themselves. This finding echoes previous research and suggests partners may experience relationship difficulties more intensely or with greater awareness.

The researchers hypothesize that gamblers' satisfaction may increase as they feel supported through treatment, while partners' satisfaction decreases due to imbalanced roles and heightened awareness of relationship problems. Partners often assume responsibilities like financial control and emotional caregiving that create inequality in the relationship.

Surprisingly, the study found no significant differences in emotional dysregulation between gamblers and their partners. While gamblers were expected to show higher levels, emotional dysregulation isn't unique to addiction. It appears across many psychological difficulties including anxiety and depression. In this study, more than a quarter of the partners had been diagnosed with depression, which could explain why their emotional regulation challenges matched those of the gamblers.

The Communication Connection

For both gamblers and their partners, positive communication correlated strongly with relationship satisfaction. This aligns with broader relationship research showing communication patterns as essential to satisfaction. Better communication in couples predicts relationship longevity, while poor communication more than doubles divorce rates.

However, emotional dysregulation showed a more complex pattern. Partners' emotional difficulties correlated negatively with both their own and the gamblers' relationship satisfaction, but gamblers' emotional dysregulation didn't show these same associations.

This gender difference might reflect how people are socialized into different emotional roles in relationships. Women are typically educated to take emotional responsibility and manage relationship dynamics, while men are often taught to avoid emotional expression and prioritize rationality. Women may therefore feel more emotionally overburdened when struggling with regulation, especially if their partners lack emotional skills to provide support.

When examining what predicted relationship satisfaction, only positive communication emerged as significant for both partners. Emotional dysregulation didn't predict satisfaction once communication was accounted for. This suggests communication may be especially important in relationships affected by gambling disorder.

Implications for Treatment

Several studies have tested couple therapy for gambling disorder with encouraging results. After therapy, couples report more frequent expression of thoughts, feelings, and desires, along with decreased negative communication patterns. They perceive greater connection, security, and intimacy in their relationships.

Couple therapy appears to help both partners understand gambling and its effects. It improves communication, with the non gambling partner contributing to motivation for change, treatment adherence, and relapse prevention. Some gamblers report that fear of losing their relationship provides the most powerful motivation for maintaining abstinence.

Training in emotional regulation and positive communication to manage couple conflicts could help maintain gambling abstinence and prevent relapse. When partners communicate adaptively rather than critically or dismissively, they may reduce the negative emotions that trigger gambling as an escape or regulation strategy.

Important Limitations

The study had several significant limitations worth noting. The small sample size of just 15 couples limits confidence in the findings. A larger study might reveal different patterns, particularly if analyzing different dimensions of emotional regulation separately rather than as a single construct.

The study also couldn't analyze positive versus negative communication separately due to sample size constraints. Research suggests negative communication may have an even stronger effect on satisfaction than positive communication, something this study couldn't examine.

Additionally, participants were at different stages of treatment. Some had completed rehabilitation while others were still actively engaged. This heterogeneity makes it difficult to draw clear conclusions about how these relationship dynamics change through the recovery process. Future research would benefit from tracking couples before, during, and after treatment.

The gender composition presents another major limitation. All gamblers were men and all partners were women. Results might differ considerably in relationships where women have the gambling problem, given factors like lack of social support, family caregiving demands, and violence that particularly affect women with addictions. The study also didn't include same sex couples, despite evidence that sexual and gender minorities face unique vulnerabilities.

The cross sectional design means causality cannot be determined. Does poor communication contribute to gambling, does gambling erode communication, or do both processes occur simultaneously? Only longitudinal research tracking couples over time can answer these questions.

A Systemic Perspective

Despite limitations, the study makes important contributions. It examined both partners rather than just one person's perspective, providing a more complete picture of relationship dynamics. It offers quantitative data to complement existing qualitative research on this topic.

Most importantly, it provides evidence that positive communication acts as a protective factor for relationship satisfaction when gambling disorder affects the couple. Partners' emotional regulation difficulties also appear important, correlating negatively with communication quality and gamblers' satisfaction.

The findings support viewing gambling disorder through a systemic lens that considers not just the individual but also their partner, family, and broader context. Since romantic relationships represent the most affected subsystem, they may be the most urgent area for intervention.

Partners of gamblers experience serious psychological and relational consequences. This burden may intensify for female partners in heterosexual relationships due to traditional gender roles around emotional caregiving. Meanwhile, couple dynamics, specifically communication and emotional regulation around conflicts, may influence whether addiction develops, persists, or improves with treatment.

The research suggests that comprehensive, networked care should be offered, with couple based work playing a relevant role. Both partners can reciprocally influence each other's mental health. Supporting the relationship may benefit both individuals while also creating conditions that support recovery from gambling disorder.

Future research should include more diverse samples: couples where women have gambling problems, same sex couples, and people from various socioeconomic backgrounds. Studies should track couples longitudinally through treatment, examine both positive and negative communication patterns, consider additional factors like stress and dyadic coping, and perhaps include qualitative interviews to capture the complexity of these relationships.

Understanding how gambling disorder affects romantic relationships and how those relationships in turn affect recovery opens new avenues for intervention. Rather than treating gambling as solely an individual problem, acknowledging its interpersonal nature may lead to more effective, holistic approaches that support both people in the relationship.

Published: 12 November 2025

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Published: 12 November 2025

Supporting Men Through Unintended Pregnancy: Lessons from Norwegian Counselors

When an unintended pregnancy occurs, the focus naturally centers on the woman, who faces both the physical reality and the legal right to make decisions about continuing the pregnancy. Yet men also navigate this challenging situation, experiencing their own emotional turmoil while trying to support their partners. A study of Norwegian pregnancy counselors reveals how healthcare professionals attempt to balance supporting both partners while respecting women's autonomy in decision making.

A Shared Crisis

Researchers interviewed 13 counselors working at a nationwide, government supported service in Norway that provides free counseling to individuals and couples facing pregnancy related decisions. All the counselors were women, ranging in age from 29 to 64, with varying levels of experience in the field.

The counselors described unintended pregnancies as creating what they called an "existential crisis" not just for women but for men as well. From one day to the next, both partners find themselves thrown into a situation that upends their sense of control and direction. The decision making process forces them to contemplate questions about their entire lives and futures, whether they'll stay together, whether they'll have children, and what kind of life they envision.

This crisis involves a "chaos" of emotions and thoughts that can feel overwhelming. The counselors observed that while the decision making process can be painful, it also serves a necessary purpose, helping clients determine what truly matters to them.

Different Ways of Expressing Distress

One recurring theme in the counselors' experiences involved the different ways women and men typically communicate about their feelings and concerns during this crisis. Counselors noticed that in couple sessions, men often approached the situation more rationally while women tended to be more in touch with their emotions.

This difference in communication styles could create challenges, with partners essentially speaking different languages and talking past one another. The counselors often found themselves needing to "translate" for men, helping them articulate their feelings and enhancing their partners' understanding of what they were experiencing.

The counselors debated whether men genuinely have a poorer emotional vocabulary, whether they suppress emotions to appear rational, or whether they simply avoid exploring their feelings. They noted that some men find sharing emotions difficult and threatening, fearing it might make them appear weak. Men often required more time to open up and discuss what truly mattered to them, and painful feelings frequently emerged once they started talking, having kept so much bottled up.

Interestingly, counselors observed generational differences, with younger men more readily sharing their feelings than older men.

The Challenge of Involvement

The degree of men's involvement in the decision making process varied widely and significantly impacted how both partners experienced the situation. Some men were genuinely supportive, others exerted pressure on their partners, and still others avoided participation entirely.

The counselors noticed that some younger men felt pressure to handle these situations appropriately, with more men now taking the initiative to book appointments for both themselves and their partners. Even men not in committed relationships were increasingly taking responsibility and wishing to be involved.

However, involvement could be complicated. Some men avoided being honest about their desires to protect their partners from feeling upset or influenced. Other men participated in conversations specifically to have the opportunity to shape the outcome. Counselors described how some men appeared passive and claimed to be there only for support, yet subtly exerted pressure through their presence and actions to influence their partner's decision.

The lack of legal decision making authority for men created additional challenges. Men who disagreed with their partner's decision or felt excluded from the process often experienced higher levels of stress and despair. At the same time, counselors recognized that men could influence women's decisions, sometimes resulting in women making choices that went against their personal wishes.

Despite these complications, the counselors generally expected men to be involved, viewing this involvement as beneficial for the woman, the man, and any potential child. They saw men as potential fathers and believed that reluctance in the present doesn't preclude good fatherhood in the future.

The Counselor's Balancing Act

The counselors described their role as requiring careful navigation of multiple competing demands. They felt an ethical responsibility to care for both partners while respecting Norwegian law, which gives women the right to decide about terminating a pregnancy up until the end of the twelfth week.

Maintaining what they called "neutrality" emerged as a central professional value. This meant treating both partners with impartiality, remaining unbiased regarding cultural and religious viewpoints, and avoiding having a personal agenda. When beginning couple sessions, counselors often explicitly stated their neutrality, partly to reassure men that despite all the counselors being women, they would not automatically side with the female partner.

However, the counselors acknowledged that complete neutrality is impossible. Their own life experiences, values, and unconscious biases inevitably influence how they interact with clients. They recognized that their body language, personal triggers, and background all play a role despite their best efforts to remain neutral.

The key, they felt, was maintaining awareness of these influences and continuously reflecting on them. Being conscious of and striving for neutrality helped them remain open to what was truly at stake for both women and men in each unique situation.

Navigating Difficult Emotions

One particularly challenging aspect of counseling men involved handling intense emotional expressions, especially anger. Counselors discussed how angry men, particularly physically large ones, could have a strong presence in the room that made both the counselor and the female partner feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

The counselors tried to maintain fearlessness and readiness to face a broad spectrum of emotions. They recognized that anger might stem from feelings of powerlessness about not being able to decide, or that other emotions like fear and sadness might underlie the anger. They used various strategies to maintain calm, balanced conversations, including naming emotions, taking breaks, ending conversations when necessary, or inviting men to individual sessions where their anger felt less threatening.

The counselors felt particularly responsible for women's safety when men expressed anger, concerned it might indicate pressure or potential violence in the relationship. Yet they also tried to create space for men to explore and express their genuine feelings.

Time Pressure and Structure

Time emerged as a crucial factor affecting both clients and counselors. With women having only until the end of the twelfth week to decide about termination, counselors often met clients with just a few weeks remaining. This created pressure to build trust and rapport quickly to address what clients truly needed to discuss.

The limited timeframe meant counselors had to effectively structure conversations while still providing space for reflection. They aimed to create a safe environment where clients could think freely, share thoughts, and openly express feelings. Building safety, trust, and recognition in the counselor relationship was critical.

The counselors used strategies like open ended questions, providing information, normalizing emotions, and raising awareness to help clients gain confidence in their decision making. They adapted their communication during crises to ensure comprehension and repeated information when needed.

Cultural and Religious Challenges

Counselors reported particular challenges when working with men whose cultural or religious beliefs led them to oppose abortion or hold conservative views about women. In these situations, they felt responsible to speak clearly about Norwegian laws, support women's autonomy, and address what they viewed as unethical behaviors like controlling women or deceiving them about relationship intentions.

These situations tested their commitment to neutrality and required heightened awareness of their own biases. The counselors emphasized the importance of reflecting on their personal values and how these might affect their interactions with clients from diverse backgrounds.

A Relational Understanding

The counselors' approach reflected what researchers describe as a relational understanding of decision making. Rather than viewing the pregnancy decision as solely the woman's concern, they recognized that partners often navigate the situation together and that their decisions influence each other.

This perspective acknowledges that respecting individual autonomy involves understanding the relationships people hold important and recognizing how individuals incorporate values from these relationships into their decisions. Including men in counseling enables them to support their partners and fosters shared responsibility for the situation and its consequences.

The approach also represents a shift from viewing unintended pregnancies as exclusively women's issues toward recognizing the involvement and impact on both partners.

The Need for Specialized Skills

The counselors stressed that their work required what they called "double competence" in both reproductive healthcare and counseling skills. They needed extensive knowledge of crisis management, abortion, pregnancy, laws, and rights, as well as understanding of the ethical considerations inherent in these sensitive conversations.

They also highlighted the importance of understanding different constructions of masculinity and how these shape both men's experiences and counselors' own expectations and perceptions. This awareness helped them recognize when their assumptions about how men "should" behave might be limiting their ability to meet men where they actually were.

Regular professional supervision provided crucial support, giving counselors space to reflect on their practice, examine their values and biases, and ensure they were providing ethical, competent care.

Implications for Healthcare

This study reveals the complexity of supporting both partners through unintended pregnancy while respecting women's legal rights and autonomy. The Norwegian counselors' experiences suggest that inclusive pregnancy counseling requires careful attention to power dynamics, communication differences, emotional intensity, and personal values.

Their approach recognizes that men, like women, may experience unintended pregnancy as an emotional and psychological challenge deserving of support. At the same time, it maintains awareness that including men must not compromise women's rights or autonomy in decision making.

The findings highlight gaps in understanding how healthcare providers can best support men in these situations. Further research could explore men's own experiences of unintended pregnancy and their interactions with healthcare services, as well as examining how different cultural contexts shape both men's involvement and providers' approaches to counseling.

As societies continue evolving their understanding of gender equality and shared parenting responsibilities, healthcare services face the ongoing challenge of developing practices that truly support all individuals affected by unintended pregnancy.