Attraction is the first stage of an affair. The attraction may not begin with physical attraction. It could also happen through language, whether that happens via text flirting or in person. The conversation may intrigue the person, but of most importance is the feelings of excitement that come. As texts and conversations continue, it forms the foundation of a relationship. At a later time, they may come to understand their relationship status, but most of the time they continue despite knowing this information (Peluso 2007). 

The 'honeymoon' stage is brought on by a 'good' feeling that is often described as intoxicating. There is passion and the couple may have engaged sexually via shared images or through physical contact. Hiding the affair from each other's spouses or partner may increase arousal. Plans are made to continue the affair - via in-person or through chatting(Peluso 2007).  

Changes in equilibrium is the stage that follows. This is based on a negotiation of what happens next in the relationship- do they meet in person, continue the relationship, or how far do they go both emotionally and physically? If they haven't met, than a lot is challenged on a cognitive level. Some of these challenges include: should I invest in travelling to metthis person, how will this influence their emotional health, will they meet and will anyone see, and can they even get away (Peluso 2007).

The ending is the last stage - they choose to continue the affair or end it(Pelusos 2007).

Peluso, P. R. (Ed.). (2007). Infidelity: A practitioner’s guide to working with couples in crisis. Routledge.

If you need support, please feel free to contact me. I support connection with any Clinical Psychologist. They must practice psychological counselling or provide psychotherapy services. My office is located in Vaughan, Ontario.