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I have many people who come to counselling looking for suggestions on staying calm and having a better, peaceful life. I work with individuals by explaining that life is entirely of choices, and it's up to them to decide how best to live their lives and what challenges they want to take on. Sometimes, this requires taking on a challenge to obtain peace later on (for example, going to school). Other times, it means evaluating what is happening in your life and assessing the situations influencing you to feel the way you do. This may mean choosing to take on less when you can and adjusting your life when challenges present themselves (i.e., a sick parent).

Part of keeping calm is working on creating practices that support self-care. This may mean engaging in a meditation practice that supports taking time to breathe and train so that when you need to feel regulated, you have the skills necessary to do so. Several resources are available to help you with your meditation practice online and at the local library. What I like about meditation is that it gives you a bigger bandwidth to deal with life stress, which in turn brings on more feelings of calm and ease. What is most important to consider is how often you practice the meditation. The recommendation is to do it daily for at least 15 mins.

Lastly, assessing your thinking could also be imperative to living a calmer life. This may mean lowering your standards and adjusting your expectations of people. It may require time and constant introspection, but it could serve as a valuable suggestion if done correctly.

 

meditation2 vaughan counsellingMeditation is a mandatory part of my program. Everyone is expected to practice, and it helps with managing many mental health symptoms. I recommend that people interested in meditation attempt guided meditation. Many apps are also available that can provide a structured meditation program to help you get started. For those looking to start a meditation program, I recommend that they try deep diaphragmatic breathing. There are many videos online to help you learn how to do diaphragmatic breathing. You could also choose to breathe at a ratio of a 4-second inhale and a 6-second exhale. Of course, try to do what's comfortable for you. If this is not comfortable, try to find something that works. I often try to think of a beach scene when I breathe to help create an anchor for my mind to focus on. My work as a psychologist has led me to better understand the importance of meditation.

If you want to learn more, feel free to contact me and I would be happy to help. Here is what I help my patients with.
            • Understand the basics of starting a meditation/relaxation program
            • Become familiar with understanding how relaxation and meditation can help with anxiety and worry 
            • Learn strategies to help manage anxiety and worry
            • Learn a variety of different types of relaxation exercises 
            • Develop strategies to help control unwanted thoughts 
            • Improve concentration and focus   
            • Learn cognitive behavioural therapy strategies to challenge unwanted thoughts 
As a psychologist, I have consulted with many clinicians and support workers on how best to work with individuals who experience difficulties with suicide. The intent was to be the best at my job and obtain the skills necessary to help those in need, particularly during a crisis.

When engaging with people who are calling a suicide line, it's essential to consider what you say and how you say it. The stakes are pretty high, and what is being attempted is a declaration of a crisis. My training as a psychologist has helped me obtain the skills necessary to step back, assess, and deliver a message that can be impactful yet considerate. Keeping myself calm and delivered is particularly important in this situation.

There are times when you have to leave your own emotions at the door and work with what's in front of you. At times, this means hearing really difficult conversations about the individual's plan and intent of suicide and working with the client despite the crisis situation evolving. At times, I have felt scared of saying the wrong things, which can bring on more insecurity. Remaining confident in these situations can be hard, but trusting my training during these times is important.

Seeking supervision and support during these calls is also very important. Luckily, having a support staff to help navigate difficult conversations with clients can mean the world, especially if when triggered. Having a support system that is there when you need it can be quite impactful for each party involved in the conversation.
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The information provided on this website is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling, psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This website is not intended for use in emergencies. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, experiencing a crisis, or in need of urgent assistance, please contact emergency services by calling 911 or go to the nearest hospital.
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