Social networking sites have become deeply embedded in daily life, offering platforms for communication with friends and strangers alike. While these platforms can complement offline relationships, excessive use can potentially develop into problematic patterns that affect romantic partnerships. A recent study examined the complex relationships between social media addiction, online behaviors related to infidelity, and relationship satisfaction, revealing surprising statistical patterns that require careful interpretation.
The Rise of Social Media in Relationships
Social media platforms are designed to maximize the time users spend on them. They encourage what researchers call "sofalizing," a blend of sofa and socializing that represents a preference for online interactions over meeting people in person. These platforms extend how far users scroll, minimize how quickly they leave, and reduce time between visits.
Research has consistently shown that greater internet use predicts lower intimacy and relationship quality. Similarly, higher social media use has been linked to reduced marriage quality and happiness. This makes sense given that time is not expandable: excessive online interactions can drain time, emotional energy, and resources from a couple's relationship, resulting in lower investment and commitment.
When Online Interactions Cross Lines
Computer mediated communications can transform simple comments into flirtation and aggressive emotional disclosures due to the absence of contextual cues and lack of physical presence. Research supports that flirting over social media evokes stronger physical and sexual reactions than face to face interactions. Once the boundaries between chatting and flirting blur, online relationships can escalate.
Social media infidelity related behaviors include developing emotional connections with people outside the relationship, being secretive about online activity, messaging former romantic partners, and becoming defensive when questioned. These behaviors are less aggressive than explicit online infidelity but still represent boundary violations that can lead to conflict, jealousy, loss of trust, and relationship dissolution.
The Study's Findings
Researchers surveyed 765 adults in romantic relationships who used social media. The participants ranged from age 18 to 77, with an average relationship length of nearly four years. Most reported being in monogamous relationships. As expected, the study confirmed that social media addiction was negatively related to relationship satisfaction and positively related to infidelity related behaviors.
However, the novel finding concerned how these factors interacted. At low levels of infidelity related behaviors, the typical negative relationship emerged between social media addiction and relationship satisfaction. But as people reported greater engagement in online infidelity related behaviors, something statistically unusual happened: the relationship between addiction and satisfaction appeared to reverse direction.
A Statistical Puzzle Requiring Careful Interpretation
At first glance, this pattern might suggest that social media addiction combined with online flirting promotes relationship satisfaction, which would contradict conventional wisdom and prior research. The researchers emphasized that this statistical result requires very careful interpretation and likely reflects measurement issues rather than a genuine finding that infidelity related behaviors create healthy relationships.
One possible explanation involves what the satisfaction measures are actually capturing. When people are addicted to social media, their relationship quality typically suffers. However, engaging in online flirting and keeping in touch with former partners may provide certain gratifications to users. Research shows that motivations for flirting often involve self esteem support and enjoyment, particularly for non college adults.
These online interactions may provide an enjoyable distraction from an otherwise troubled relationship. The enjoyment and gratifications from these activities might be "leaking into" how people report their relationship satisfaction. In other words, the positive feelings from online flirting could be boosting users' overall mood, which then affects how they rate their relationship on questionnaires.
The Compensation Hypothesis
A second interpretation suggests that gratifications from infidelity related behaviors may directly compensate for shortcomings in the primary relationship. People who are addicted to social media but don't engage in online flirting may report lower satisfaction because they lack the distraction or compensation that comes from these outside interactions.
However, the researchers cautioned strongly against concluding that online flirting is a path to relational happiness for those addicted to social media. The behaviors measured suggest that people are at least implicitly aware their partners wouldn't approve of their online wanderings. By analogy, drinking might make someone feel subjectively happier in the moment, but it doesn't solve underlying problems.
Important Lessons for Research and Practice
These findings highlight critical considerations for researchers studying computer mediated communication and romantic relationships. The conclusions drawn can only be as valid as the measures used. Common relationship satisfaction scales may be capturing personal feelings of happiness that reflect non relational factors rather than pure relationship quality.
For people in relationships, the implications are clear. While social media can enhance connections, excessive use and boundary crossing behaviors pose genuine threats. Online interactions that partners would disapprove of create opportunities for conflict and erosion of trust. The temporary gratifications from online flirting don't address underlying relationship issues and may mask problems that need attention.
Theoretical Context
Multiple theories help explain these dynamics. The online disinhibition effect suggests that people are more uninhibited online than face to face, making them prone to intimate disclosures earlier than they would offline. Social penetration theory holds that intimacy and self disclosure drive relationship development, which happens more rapidly online.
The negative effect hypothesis proposes that social media use decreases relationship satisfaction by offering connections with potential alternative partners, promoting over engagement with platforms, and exposing users to situations that jeopardize primary relationships. The self selection hypothesis suggests unsatisfied partners use social media excessively, creating a circular pattern.
Practical Applications
For couples and therapists, these findings underscore the importance of examining factors that minimize the impact of online infidelity related behaviors. Partners should be cautious about engaging in online interactions that they wouldn't want their romantic partners to know about. Those prone to these behaviors should redirect focus toward activities that benefit their primary relationship.
Useful behaviors include engaging in respectful communication, expressing affection, tackling difficult issues constructively, supporting each other, engaging in shared activities, demonstrating commitment, and actively listening. Couples might benefit from setting clear boundaries around internet use and avoiding private interactions with people who could be perceived as romantic alternatives.
Research across 160 cultures has shown that infidelity is the most common reason cited for relationship dissolution. In the contemporary era, social media provides increased opportunities for online infidelity. Behaviors like sexting are perceived similarly to physical sexual infidelity, making the boundaries increasingly important to navigate.
Study Limitations and Future Directions
The study had several limitations worth noting. It relied on self report measures and employed a cross sectional design, meaning causality cannot be inferred. The researchers assessed only one member of each relationship, and gathering both partners' responses would strengthen conclusions about overall relationship quality. Only one measure of relationship satisfaction was used when many exist.
Future research should explore whether these findings replicate using alternate satisfaction measures and should examine more closely whether gratifications from online flirting truly leak into satisfaction reports. The distinction between distraction and compensation mechanisms warrants further investigation.
The Broader Message
This research serves as an important reminder that statistical relationships don't always mean what they appear to mean on the surface. The finding that higher levels of social media addiction and infidelity related behaviors correlated with reported satisfaction doesn't mean these behaviors are healthy for relationships. Instead, it highlights how measurement tools can capture unintended factors and why researchers must exercise caution when making substantive inferences.
For the general public, the message remains clear: social media addiction and online behaviors that violate relationship boundaries are linked with relationship problems. While these activities might provide temporary distraction or gratification, they don't address underlying relationship issues and can create new problems including jealousy, surveillance, conflict, and eventual dissolution. Healthy relationships benefit from partners investing their time and emotional energy in each other rather than in online alternatives.
Abbasi, I. S., & Dibble, J. L. (2025). Social Media Addiction, Infidelity-Related Behaviors, and Relationship Satisfaction: Statistical Moderation Requires Careful Interpretation. The Family Journal, 10664807251358821.
What Keeps Couples Together Through Life's Biggest Challenges
When marriages face serious threats, some couples fall apart while others grow stronger. A recent international study explored what makes the difference by interviewing 180 people in couples who have been married for over 40 years, representing 24 countries. These researchers took a unique approach: instead of studying why marriages fail, they asked thriving couples how they survived life's worst moments.
The Biggest Threats to Marriage
More than two thirds of the couples interviewed disclosed experiencing threats serious enough to potentially end their marriages. The researchers observed something striking during these conversations: as one partner relived painful memories, the other would offer touches, eye contact, and verbal reassurances. This physical comfort demonstrated both the seriousness of what these couples had endured and the value they placed on their relationships.
The most frequently reported threat was the death or severe illness of a child, accounting for over 17% of disclosed threats. This included children who died in accidents, from illness, or who had severe disabilities or mental health conditions. Many couples noted that they personally knew other couples who had divorced after experiencing similar tragedies.
Infidelity emerged as the second most common threat, representing just over 11% of identified dangers. Several couples expressed shame about this but wanted to share their experiences to show that marriages could survive betrayal. Some referred to affairs using softer terms before clarifying what had actually happened.
Chronic mental illness in a spouse also posed a significant threat, with depression being the most prevalent condition. Partners of those experiencing mental illness often faced requests from their suffering spouses to leave them, yet these partners chose to stay.
Other major threats included interference from extended family members, prolonged periods living apart due to work, employment related issues including job changes and joint business ventures, and parenting disagreements about discipline, education, or how to handle a child's mental health crisis.
How Couples Cope Together
When asked what helped them get through these threats, couples primarily described strategies that brought them closer together rather than individual coping methods. In fact, 83% of the coping mechanisms involved leaning on their relationship bond, what attachment theory calls the attachment bond.
The most frequently mentioned coping mechanism was effective communication, encompassing nearly a quarter of all strategies. This wasn't always gentle conversation. Couples "argued it through" or "talked and talked and talked" their way through problems. Some arguments went late into the night at high volume. Knowing when to talk became crucial, particularly for couples grieving a child.
Drawing closer as a couple was another major strategy. Couples often added that the adverse event actually strengthened their relationship. Disabled children brought couples closer together. Infidelity made them appreciate what they could have lost. Deaths made them stronger together. Some couples needed time to grieve separately before turning to each other.
Persevering together meant "sticking through it" with determination and stubbornness. Many couples used combat language: battling through, fighting for their marriage, soldiering on. They acknowledged it was hard work but described putting one foot in front of the other.
Prioritizing the relationship above all else emerged as a conscious choice for many couples. Some reached a point where they had to put their marriage first, even above their children's needs, trusting that their children would find their own way. Others realized that external circumstances were threatening the marriage and made deliberate decisions to protect the relationship.
Sacrificing individual wants rounded out the top five coping mechanisms. When infidelity occurred, one spouse had to give up the affair while the other had to let go of bitterness and resentment. In other situations, one partner consciously sacrificed career ambitions, comfort, or quality of life for the sake of the marriage. Some gave up seeing family members to preserve their partnership.
The Role of Attachment
The research highlighted the central role of attachment bonds in long term relationships. Just as infants rely on caregivers for safety and security, adults in committed relationships look to their partners as a safe haven during times of illness, danger, or threat. This attachment serves biological functions, including regulating stress hormones, reducing inflammation, and strengthening the immune system.
The couples in this study demonstrated secure attachment by turning toward each other during crises. They trusted that despite hardships, personal failings, and threats, their relationship would continue. This confidence allowed them to lean on each other rather than pulling apart when faced with adversity.
The biological mechanisms of attachment help explain why these couples could overcome such severe threats. Warm interactions with an attachment figure increase oxytocin levels, which regulate stress responses and promote physical and mental health. The attachment also affects brain function in ways that build resilience and help people withstand stress.
A Different Approach to Understanding Marriage
This study took what researchers call a salutogenic approach, focusing on what went right rather than what went wrong. While other research correctly identifies infidelity as a primary reason for divorce, this study illuminated how some couples overcame infidelity by strengthening their attachment bond. Similarly, while research shows that losing a child devastates relationships and increases divorce risk eightfold, these couples survived and even grew stronger.
The qualitative nature of the research provided rich insights that numbers alone couldn't capture. By leaving questions open ended, couples revealed not just what they did but how they felt about it. Their words shed light on the strength of their relationships and their ability to lean on each other.
What Sets These Couples Apart
The preponderance of together coping mechanisms over individual strategies underscores something fundamental: these couples viewed challenges as threats to "us" rather than problems for "me" to handle alone. This collective approach created a positive feedback loop where leaning on the attachment bond strengthened that bond, making it easier to continue leaning on it.
The concept of sacrifice may seem outdated in contemporary society with its emphasis on individual fulfillment. Yet for these thriving couples, sacrifice was a major coping mechanism underlying all relationship focused strategies. The willingness to fulfill a spouse's needs, protect them, and foster their growth strengthened their attachment bonds over time.
Time spent together also emerged as important. Most interviewed couples avoided being apart even for weekends, viewing such togetherness not as obligation but as preference. This proximity naturally strengthened their attachment bonds through shared daily experiences and emotional closeness.
Practical Applications
These findings offer valuable insights for couples and therapists. Understanding the major stressors that threaten relationships and the coping mechanisms that work can help couples facing similar challenges. The research demonstrates that relationship resilience and attachment can actually strengthen through adversity rather than being defeated by it.
The biological processes through which relationship attachment leads to individual resilience provide a scientific foundation for encouraging couples to embrace together coping mechanisms. By working together rather than apart, couples activate protective biological processes that benefit both partners and the relationship.
While this study provides rich insights, it has limitations. The evidence comes from couples' own descriptions of their coping mechanisms, and they may have overlooked individual, financial, or societal factors that contributed to their success. Because couples were interviewed together, they may have unconsciously presented a consensus view rather than individual perspectives.
The diversity of 24 countries is substantial but still limits generalizability. Much work remains to include more diverse groups across social class, income, and education levels. Future research could explore additional factors that contribute to couple resilience.
What emerges clearly from this research is that long term couples who thrive do so by turning toward each other during life's most difficult moments. They communicate, draw closer, persevere together, prioritize their relationship, and make sacrifices. These strategies both rely on and strengthen the attachment bond that makes their partnership a safe haven in times of trouble. The result is not just relationship survival but relationship growth through adversity.
Heim, C., & Heim, C. (2025). How Long-Term Couples Cope with Chronic Stressors and Adverse Life Course Events in Marriage: A Qualitative Study. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 53(4), 450-472.
Infidelity remains a significant concern in romantic relationships, affecting not just the relationship itself but also the emotional, behavioral, and physical health of those involved. While researchers have identified various factors that contribute to unfaithfulness, a recent meta analysis examined whether certain personality traits known as the Dark Triad play a role in infidelity.
Understanding the Dark Triad
The Dark Triad refers to three socially aversive personality traits that exist on a spectrum in the general population: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. These are not clinical disorders but rather characteristics studied in everyday people.
Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, a sense of superiority and entitlement, lack of empathy, and a heightened need for admiration from others. The type associated with the Dark Triad is grandiose narcissism, which involves exhibitionism, manipulativeness, interpersonal dominance, and aggressive behaviors.
Machiavellianism describes a personality trait marked by cynicism, manipulativeness, callousness, and a lack of morality. The term was inspired by the strategic views of Italian diplomat Niccolo Machiavelli and reflects a calculating approach to interpersonal relationships.
Psychopathy is characterized by emotional deficits, high impulsivity, lack of empathy and guilt, and antisocial tendencies. Unlike the impulsive aspects of psychopathy, Machiavellianism involves more strategic planning and better executive functions.
Why Study This Connection?
Previous research has shown mixed results about whether people with dark personality traits are more likely to engage in infidelity. Some studies found positive associations, others found no relationship, and a few even reported unexpected negative associations. This inconsistency made it difficult to understand how "dark" these traits really are when it comes to loyalty in romantic relationships.
The researchers aimed to resolve this uncertainty by conducting a comprehensive review and meta analysis of available studies. They examined research investigating the relationships between each of the Dark Triad traits and infidelity behavior.
What the Research Found
The meta analysis included 11 scientific articles published in peer reviewed journals, encompassing data from 4,701 adult participants across multiple countries. The studies primarily used self report questionnaires to assess both personality traits and infidelity experiences.
The results revealed statistically significant positive correlations for all three traits, though the strength of these associations varied. Psychopathy showed the strongest relationship with infidelity, with a small to moderate correlation. This finding aligns with the impulsive and deceptive nature of psychopathy, which is often classified as the darkest of the Dark Triad traits.
Machiavellianism showed a weaker but still significant association with infidelity. Despite its malevolent characteristics, the strategic and calculating nature of Machiavellianism may actually lead to less infidelity related behavior compared to psychopathy. People high in Machiavellianism tend to engage in strategic planning and reputation management, which could make them less likely to take the risks associated with infidelity.
Narcissism yielded the most inconsistent results across studies and showed the weakest association with infidelity. This was somewhat surprising given that narcissism has been linked to relationship dissatisfaction, higher sociosexuality, and lower commitment. However, various mediating and moderating factors appear to influence whether narcissistic individuals engage in infidelity, including gender, relationship experience, relationship satisfaction, attachment styles, and empathy levels.
The Bigger Picture
While all three traits showed statistically significant associations with infidelity, these associations were generally small in magnitude. This suggests that dark personality traits may not be as predictive of unfaithfulness as might be expected, at least not on their own.
From an evolutionary perspective, the Dark Triad has been discussed in the context of fast life history strategies, which involve short term mating orientations characterized by numerous sexual experiences with minimal emotional investment. This contrasts with slow life strategies that emphasize long term commitment and emotional investment. Research has consistently shown that higher levels of dark personality traits are associated with preferences for less commitment and more promiscuity, factors that in turn have been linked to infidelity.
Important Limitations
The research had several limitations worth noting. The relatively small number of studies available for analysis limited what conclusions could be drawn. The researchers could not conduct moderator analyses due to the limited number of studies, despite considerable variation across studies.
Most studies used convenience samples, many had small sample sizes, and the majority were conducted in the United States, raising questions about how well the findings generalize to other populations. Additionally, different studies used different measures to assess the same personality traits, which may have contributed to inconsistent findings.
The reliance on self report measures presents another challenge. Given the deceptive nature of these traits and the social undesirability of admitting to infidelity, responses may not always accurately reflect reality. People high in narcissism, for instance, may be influenced by social desirability concerns when completing questionnaires.
What This Means
The findings suggest that while dark personality traits do relate to infidelity, the relationships are complex and relatively modest in size. Personality alone likely does not determine whether someone will be unfaithful. Instead, infidelity probably results from interactions between personality traits, environmental factors like availability of alternative partners, and relationship factors such as dissatisfaction.
The research underscores the importance of examining multiple contributing variables rather than focusing solely on personality. Future studies might benefit from longitudinal and experimental designs, larger and more diverse samples, and measurement approaches beyond self report questionnaires.
This meta analysis represents the first comprehensive examination of the relationship between the Dark Triad and infidelity. While it confirms that these personality traits do correlate with unfaithfulness, the associations are smaller than might be expected based on the "dark" nature of these traits.
Understanding infidelity requires looking beyond individual personality characteristics to consider the broader context of relationships, situations, and environmental factors. Rather than a simple personality based explanation, infidelity appears to emerge from a complex interplay of personal, relational, and situational factors that together shape behavior in romantic relationships.
Ataman, A., & Yalçınkaya, A. Ö. (2025). How “dark” is the dark triad in romantic relationships: A meta-analytic review of the relationship between the dark triad and infidelity. Psihologija, (00), 15-15.
