New research from Germany reveals a stubborn truth about modern relationships: even when women earn more money than their partners, they're still doing most of the housework. A comprehensive study following over 3,000 couples for more than a decade shows just how persistent gender inequality remains in our homes.
The Power of Shared Beliefs
The study discovered that what couples believe about gender roles matters more than who brings home the bigger paycheck. Researchers identified four types of couples based on their attitudes toward housework:
Egalitarian couples where both partners believe men should do their fair share of housework shared chores most equally, though women still did slightly more. These couples made up about 70% of the study.
Traditional couples where both partners believed housework was primarily women's work had the most unequal divisions, with women doing almost everything.
Mismatched couples fell somewhere in between, whether it was the woman who believed in equality while her partner held traditional views, or vice versa.
Money Talks, But Not Very Loudly
Here's where it gets interesting: the researchers wanted to see what happened when women started earning significantly more than their male partners. Would couples renegotiate who does the dishes and laundry?
The answer was mostly no. Even when women became the primary breadwinners, the division of housework barely budged. Only couples where both partners already believed in equality made small adjustments, with men taking on slightly more household tasks.
For couples where the woman believed in equal sharing but her partner held traditional views, earning more money didn't give her enough bargaining power to change their routine. These women remained stuck doing most of the housework despite their financial contributions.
The Stickiness Problem
The study's most striking finding was how "sticky" these arrangements are. Even among the most egalitarian couples, when women out-earned their partners, they still shouldered more than half the housework burden. The changes that did occur were tiny – we're talking about differences that might not even be noticeable in daily life.
This challenges the common assumption that economic power automatically translates to household bargaining power. A dollar earned by a woman apparently doesn't carry the same weight as a dollar earned by a man when it comes to negotiating who takes out the trash.
Why This Matters
The research was conducted in Germany, a country with relatively progressive attitudes but still strong cultural expectations about women's roles in the home. The findings likely apply to many other developed countries facing similar cultural tensions between modern economic realities and traditional gender expectations.
The study followed couples over 11 years, watching as many transitioned from equal earners at the start of their relationships to more traditional arrangements over time. This suggests that even couples who begin with good intentions often fall into gendered patterns as life gets more complicated.
Beyond Money and Beliefs
What makes housework divisions so resistant to change? The researchers suggest several factors beyond economics and attitudes:
Different standards of cleanliness between partners often mean women feel compelled to do more work. There's also the emotional aspect – many people derive satisfaction from caring for their homes and families, which can reinforce traditional patterns even when they conflict with stated beliefs about equality.
Some women might also find that pushing for change creates more conflict than simply doing the work themselves, especially if their partners are resistant.
The Reality Check
This research offers a reality check for couples who assume that earning power will automatically solve household inequality. It suggests that real change requires more than just women's economic success – it needs genuine buy-in from both partners about what equality looks like in practice.
The study also highlights why discussions about household labour remain so fraught. When deeply held beliefs about gender roles clash with economic realities, the result is often frustration and unresolved tension.
Looking Forward
While the findings might seem discouraging, they do point toward solutions. Couples who shared egalitarian values from the start were most likely to adjust their arrangements when circumstances changed. This suggests that having explicit conversations about expectations and values early in relationships could make a difference.
The research also shows that change, while slow and small, is possible. Even modest shifts toward equality represent progress in the long march toward genuine partnership in all aspects of relationships.
For now, though, the study serves as a reminder that achieving true equality at home requires more than just changing who signs the paychecks. It demands a fundamental shift in how we think about work, care, and partnership itself.
Nitsche, N., Grunow, D., & Hudde, A. (2025). The stickiness of unequal housework sharing: Limited effects of couples' ideological pairings. Journal of Marriage and Family.
