Affair / Infidelity Counselling - Vaughan, ON - Psychologist - Couples Counselling
Treatment unfolds in three stages:
- Helping couples manage with the immediate crisis of the affair (when it has become discovered and acknowledged)
- Helping understand the variables (or reasons) that may have to contributed to a partner’s decision to have an affair.
- Helping couples move ahead with acceptance and ultimately forgiveness (forgiveness is always a choice).
I just found out that my partner has been having an affair. What do I do now?
When someone comes to understand that their partner has betrayed them, it can be pretty devastating. The process of finding out that someone you love has hurt you can bring a whirlwind of emotions that can certainly bring instability and uncomfortable feelings. I have long worked with people who struggle with coming to understand that their partner has been unfaithful. Part of the work I do is to help people manage those difficult emotions and help them pick up the pieces so they can continue to function despite this trauma that has happened in their relationship. I help each patient, along with their partner, work on developing a plan to manage the crisis. This may mean choosing a few people they trust to confide in to get support as they navigate through this difficult time. I do prioritize patients who are in the crisis stage to help them manage the difficult conversations and emotions that they may experience during this time. I also help facilitate difficult conversations so that escalated conflict is minimized. The goal for therapy at this point is to help manage difficult emotions, figure out what the goal is for therapy, and stabilize the relationship.
Grounding yourself during this difficult time could be particularly important. This may mean finding activities to separate yourself from the situation and decompressing without ruminating about the details of the affair. This may mean watching a comedy, engaging in a workout, or even talking to a friend about other things beyond what has happened in your relationship. Scheduling time to talk about the situation is also important. There are guidelines on how to speak about the affair with your partner, but considering engaging in open dialogue about the event, it may be best to do so when you are regulated and willing to listen. It won't be easy to hear, but if you are able to have these conversations with me or another therapist, it could help both of you during this difficult time. Practicing self-care, eating, showering and managing your responsibilities is also necessary for healing.
Can a couple survive infidelity?
Yes, most people who attend counselling have a greater chance of surviving the trauma of a betrayal. About 95% of my couples continue to have successful relationships after an affair. Of course, every situation is different, but counselling is a great start to help build a better foundation for your relationship. Counselling will also help expedite healing to get your life back to normal.
When I work with couples, I use specific counselling interventions to help manage the conflict but allow each partner to process the trauma. I also use research-based interventions to help each couple better understand how to build a new foundation of trust and how to navigate continuing their lives despite what has happened.
Will my partner cheat again?
We will never know the answer to this question. Life is uncertain, and we need to be aware that anything can happen. A great resource to read is Daring to Trust by David Richo. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, it's important to recognize that mistakes can happen, and people do learn from their mistakes and are not willing to put their relationship in jeopardy again. If an affair happens a second time, it's much harder to bounce back from.
What I do help patients understand is that they have the tools and resources to manage, cope and prosper even if an affair happens again.
Will my partner ever forgive me?
Sometimes, when we make a mistake, we can only hope that our partners are willing to understand and accept us. We are only left with building trust again and hoping they can give us blind faith. Part of the counselling process is to help build blind faith again.
If both parties are committed to working on the relationship, treatment will focus on:
For more information regarding out program, please feel free to call 416-999-3437 or email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
Resources:
Guidelines for Constructive Discussions About the Affair
How to Stay Grounded - Affair Counselling
Potential Contributing Factors - Affairs
Will my partner cheat again?
We will never know the answer to this question. Life is uncertain, and we need to be aware that anything can happen. A great resource to read is Daring to Trust by David Richo. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, it's important to recognize that mistakes can happen, and people do learn from their mistakes and are not willing to put their relationship in jeopardy again. If an affair happens a second time, it's much harder to bounce back from.
What I do help patients understand is that they have the tools and resources to manage, cope and prosper even if an affair happens again.
Will my partner ever forgive me?
Sometimes, when we make a mistake, we can only hope that our partners are willing to understand and accept us. We are only left with building trust again and hoping they can give us blind faith. Part of the counselling process is to help build blind faith again.
If both parties are committed to working on the relationship, treatment will focus on:
- Repairing difficulties in the relationship, which may have contributed to distancing in the relationship.
- Repairing physical and emotional intimacy.
For more information regarding out program, please feel free to call 416-999-3437 or email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
Resources:
Guidelines for Constructive Discussions About the Affair
How to Stay Grounded - Affair Counselling
Potential Contributing Factors - Affairs
Older Adult Counselling
We recognize that counselling with older people is quite different than that of other age groups. Our counselling program specific to our geriatric clients is designed to ensure that our client’s feel comfortable attending session. Our therapists are trained to ensure that our clients receive adequate health care service with all of their needs taken into consideration.
If you experience difficulties that you believe may impair your ability (i.e. hearing difficulties or vision difficulties) to receive service, please let us know and will try our best to make every accommodation we can to provide the care you need to be healthy.
Here are some examples of concerns that some of our clients attend counselling for:
- The Aging Body (i.e. sensory impairment, mobility and falls)
- Life Course Changes
- Multicultural Acceptance – Ethnic Diversity in Multicultural Families
- Promoting Health and Wellbeing Later in Life
- The Aging Mind (i.e., cognitive changes)
- Personal Growth and Development
- Emotions and Aging
- Depression
- Dementia
- Self Identity Issues
- Ageism
- Elder Abuse
- Spirituality and Death/Bereavement
- Grandparenthood
- Sibling Ties
- Changing Family Relationships
- Gay and Lesbian Relations
Body Image Issues - Vaughan, Ontario
Body dissatisfaction has often been described or defined as an individual’s negative evaluation of body size, shape, muscularity, and weight. Our program at Counselling Services for York Region focuses on providing our clients with research informed techniques such as cognitive behavioural therapy, focused awareness training, and acceptance therapy (ACT).
For more information on our counselling program specific to body image issues, please feel free to call us at 416-999-3437 or complete an appointment request form.
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Our counselling centre is here to make sure that you get the support you need. You may have some hesitation attending counselling, but it’s important to remember that millions of people worldwide receive help from a therapist. What’s also important to remember is that people do see success when they do see a qualified therapist. Let us help you make change in your life.