If you're a parent dealing with relationship problems, you're not alone. Recent research from Denmark shows that one in five couples experience significant relationship distress, and among pregnant couples, nearly 20% report some form of partner aggression in the past year. Even more sobering: about half of all Danish marriages end in divorce.
The problem isn't just that relationships are struggling—it's that very few couples actually seek help. Less than one in ten distressed Danish couples have ever tried couples therapy, and only 37% of municipalities even offer joint counseling services to parents.
But what if help could come to you through your computer screen?
Enter the Online Relationship Program
Researchers recently tested whether an online relationship program could bridge this gap between couples who need help and couples who actually get it. The program, called OurRelationship, is an 8-hour web-based course that couples can complete from home at their own pace.
The program is based on something called Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, which sounds complicated but boils down to a straightforward approach: help couples understand their core problems and learn to both accept each other's differences and make positive changes together.
Here's how it works: The program helps couples identify their main relationship issue by looking at four key areas:
- Differences between partners (like personality or preferences)
- Emotional sensitivities (such as fears about self-worth or abandonment)
- External stressors (like job pressure or family issues)
- Communication patterns (like escalating arguments or avoiding difficult topics)
Once couples understand their core issue, the program teaches them how to communicate in ways that foster both acceptance and positive change.
The Study: Online Program vs. Self-Help Books
Danish researchers wanted to see if this online approach actually worked, so they conducted a study with 39 distressed couples who were also parents. They randomly assigned couples to either:
- The OurRelationship program - the 8-hour online course
- Bibliotherapy - a self-help relationship book with a reading guide
Both groups were followed for several months to see how their relationships improved.
The Results: Both Approaches Help, But Online Has an Edge
The good news? Both approaches helped couples improve their relationships. Participants in both groups reported better relationship functioning and individual well-being after completing their assigned intervention.
However, the online program showed some distinct advantages:
Relationship improvements were stronger: Couples using the OurRelationship program showed small-to-large improvements in relationship functioning, while those using the self-help book showed small-to-moderate changes.
Better communication: The online program was particularly effective at reducing communication conflicts between partners, omething that's crucial for parents trying to create a stable home environment.
Reduced negativity: Couples in the online program reported bigger reductions in negative relationship patterns compared to those who just read the book.
Why Online Programs Might Be Game Changers
This research suggests that online relationship programs could be a viable solution to the help-seeking gap. Here's why they might work so well:
Accessibility: No need to find a therapist, schedule appointments, or arrange childcare. You can work on your relationship from your living room after the kids go to bed.
Privacy: Many couples feel embarrassed about seeking help. An online program removes the stigma and allows couples to work privately.
Self-paced: Unlike traditional therapy with set appointment times, online programs let couples work at their own pace and revisit content as needed.
Cost-effective: While the study didn't focus on cost, online programs are typically much less expensive than traditional couples therapy.
The Reality Check
Before you rush to sign up for an online relationship program, there are some important caveats:
The study was small (only 39 couples) and conducted in Denmark, so we don't know yet how well these results would apply to other cultures or larger populations.
The researchers also noted that successfully implementing such programs requires "a resourceful organization and large-scale delivery" meaning it's not as simple as just putting a program online and expecting it to work for everyone.
What This Means for Struggling Couples
If you're a parent dealing with relationship issues, this research offers hope. It suggests that you don't necessarily need to wait for traditional therapy to become available or affordable. Online programs and even well-structured self-help books can make a real difference.
The key is taking action. Whether it's an online program, a good relationship book, or eventually seeking traditional couples therapy, the research is clear: intervention helps, and earlier is better than later.
For parents especially, addressing relationship problems isn't just about your own happiness, it's about creating a stable, loving environment for your children. The ripple effects of relationship distress extend far beyond the couple, affecting children's emotional, behavioral, and cognitive development.
While online relationship programs aren't a magic fix, this study suggests they could be a valuable tool for couples who might otherwise go without help. As technology continues to evolve, these digital interventions may become an increasingly important part of how we support relationships and families.
The most important takeaway? If your relationship is struggling, you have options. Whether it's an online program, a self-help book, or traditional therapy, taking that first step toward getting help is what matters most.
Trillingsgaard, T. L., Hansen, F. G., & Fentz, H. N. (2025). Comparing the OurRelationship Program and Bibliotherapy for Parents Experiencing Couple Distress: A Randomized Pilot. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 51(1), e12762.
