Depression and Relationships
Depression doesn’t just impact the person experiencing the situation, but it also ripples through their relationships, particularly affecting spouses in profound and often gender-specific ways. Research has shown that men and women who live with a depressed partner process the experience differently, influencing their emotional well-being, coping mechanisms, and perceptions of their relationship.
Studies have found that wives of depressed husbands often withdraw from social life, experiencing heightened feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, and loneliness compared to husbands of depressed wives (Dattilio 2010). Women in these relationships also tend to adopt more depressive thinking patterns, becoming emotionally absorbed in their partner’s struggles (Dattillio 2010).
A man’s depression, in particular, seems to strike at the heart of household stability and emotional intimacy, making it a top concern for his partner. In contrast, when a woman struggles with depression, her husband is more likely to cope by seeking distractions such as pouring himself into work, social engagements, or hobbies like sports (Dattilio 2010). Additionally, men may take a more problem-solving approach, focusing on tangible solutions rather than dwelling on the emotional aspects of their spouse’s condition (Datillio 2010).
On the other hand, women in these situations often internalize their distress, ruminating on negative emotions and relying on their internal coping skills rather than external distractions. This tendency to focus inward can sometimes exacerbate the emotional burden they carry.
Understanding these different coping styles can help couples navigate the challenges of depression together, fostering empathy and encouraging healthier communication. Rather than retreating into their respective coping mechanisms, partners can find ways to bridge the gap by offering support, seeking professional help, and working as a team to weather the storm. Working as a Psychologist, assessing for depression is imperative to the success of the relationship.
