How Neurobiology Influences Your Relationships
Understanding the brain's chemistry is key when it comes to navigating conflicts in relationships. While in some cases, deficits are clear to identify, many couples may experience more subtle issues that stem from functional deficits in cognition, emotion, or behaviour. I have seen many patients in my psychologist practices over the years, and it is quite surprising how many couples counselling issues were related to physical health challenges. These underlying issues can often go unnoticed and may not be tied to a degenerative condition but can still contribute to relationship dysfunction.
The neurobiological processes at play in our bodies have a profound impact on how we interact with others, and this can limit the progress couples make in therapy. For example, how do we determine when someone is struggling with permanent neurobiological challenges? And more importantly, what can we do to address it? This isn't always an easy question to answer, and in some cases, it may require a referral to a neuropsychologist or neuropsychiatrist for further diagnostic testing. If a condition is identified, it might lead to cognitive rehabilitation, which can help the individual adapt.
What we know is that the brain's chemistry doesn't affect everyone the same way. Some individuals find it harder to process thoughts and emotions, which can make therapy feel especially challenging. Distinguishing between deliberate behaviours and those that stem from neurological influences is a critical part of the therapeutic process.
Recently, there has been growing interest in how genetics and neurobiology shape our interpersonal relationships.The emerging field of neuropsychology is offering new insights into how emotional and behavioural patterns develop in intimate partnerships. This research has been integrated with attachment theory to help couples improve dyadic affect regulation, or the way partners influence each other's emotions in real-time. With a deeper understanding of how the nervous system is affected by emotional reverberations, couples can work toward greater emotional attunement, creating a more secure and connected relationship.
Further research has even shown that romantic relationships can stimulate brain areas linked to motivation, similar to the way hunger or thirst triggers biological responses (Dattillio 2010). Functional MRI scans have revealed that certain dopamine-rich areas, such as the ventral tegmental area (VTA), light up when we think about our romantic partners. These regions are part of our brain's motivation and reward system, and they become active when we receive emotional fulfillment from those we love. Understanding the neurobiological aspects of relationships can open new doors for therapy, helping couples better understand their emotional triggers and strengthening their bond.
Dattilio, F. M. (2010).Cognitive-behavioral therapy with couples and families: A comprehensive guide for clinicians.The Guilford Press.
