Many families experience challenges in expressing thoughts and emotions in a healthy way. Research shows that struggling families often have difficulty listening to one another and solving problems effectively (Datillio 2010). Poor communication can turn small disagreements into major conflicts, leaving everyone feeling frustrated and unheard.
Several key factors contribute to communication breakdowns. Expressing emotions requires self-awareness, the right vocabulary, and the confidence to speak openly without fear of judgment. Emotional control also plays a crucial role, as reacting in anger or shutting down completely can escalate conflicts. Effective problem-solving involves clearly defining the issue, brainstorming solutions, weighing the pros and cons, and agreeing on a plan that works for everyone. What I have noticed in my work as a psychologist who works specifically with couples is that without these steps, problems tend to resurface repeatedly.
Some families that attend counselling at my clinic face greater communication difficulties due to underlying issues. Past experiences, including trauma or childhood environments where open conversation was not encouraged, can make self-expression challenging. What I have seen first hand is that mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety may also interfere with the ability to communicate clearly or manage conflict in a calm manner. This is why a psychological assessment is so essential when working with couples. Additionally, unresolved relationship tensions (especially built up resentment) can create barriers to productive conversations. Research indicates that even individuals who communicate well in professional or social settings may struggle within their families due to deep-seated emotional dynamics (Datillio 2021).
Improving communication requires more than just learning new techniques; it involves fostering an environment where everyone feels safe to express themselves. Active listening, patience, and a willingness to work together help break negative patterns. Strong families are built on understanding and effort rather than perfection.
Dattilio, F. M. (2010).Cognitive-behavioral therapy with couples and families: A comprehensive guide for clinicians.The Guilford Press.
