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In the past 5 years, I have had a number of people connect with me regarding their troubles of letting go of their devices and choosing to be present. Many smartphone applications are designed to be addictive, and sometimes, we fail to recognize how these programs will influence us negatively. My first suggestion is to consider deleting all of the applications on your phone that are designed to keep you addicted. This may be hard, but it makes a difference in your daily life. This may be difficult for some of you, but you may revisit using some of these apps when it's appropriate to do so- for instance, when you need a healthy distraction (for example, when you are sick or waiting for someone). Otherwise, I recommend that they be off your device.

If you believe that this isn't possible for you, which I believe many of you would argue that it's so intertwined with your life and it's not something you are willing to let go of, then you have to be comfortable with the mental tension that will exist when you are around your device and attempting to do something else that requires attention or you would like to give attention to (like rest). You may have to set healthier boundaries with your device use. Psychologist Carrie Heyward recommends being purposeful and mindful of the task you would like to accomplish. If your task is to remain on your device, then be intentional and enjoy. If, however, your task is to attend to something else, you choose behaviours that align with that, which may require you to be off your smartphone. Sometimes, this presents difficulties getting off your device. She then recommends you ask yourself: is this helpful right now, is this urgent right now, and is it allowing me to be the person I want to be right now?

I want to be clear: I like Heyward's approach, but because we have very limited bandwidth to deal with life's stress, your bandwidth will be occupied with tension to engage with your device. I strongly advise removing anything that pulls your attention and creating a boundary around engaging in such unhealthy activities.

If you are continuing to struggle, feel free to contact me directly. Any psychologist is equipped to help with this, but I would be happy to help at my office located in Vaughan, Ontario.