Body Image, Self-Talk, and Self-Esteem

How you speak to yourself about your body plays a powerful role in your mental health, self-esteem, and overall wellbeing. Negative or critical self-talk can gradually erode confidence, increase anxiety, and shape how you relate to yourself and others. For individuals and families in Vaughan and York Region, these concerns are common and highly treatable.

This process can be explored independently, but many people find it helpful to work with a psychologist through psychotherapy. Improving body image is not simply about avoiding negative self-talk; it often involves unlearning critical patterns and relearning more compassionate ways of relating to yourself. For many individuals, this takes time and consistent practice.

Why body-related self-talk matters

Taking a step back to notice what you say about your body—and how you say it—is an important part of this work. Comments about weight, dieting, or appearance can influence how others perceive you and, more importantly, how you perceive yourself.

This is particularly important for parents and caregivers. Children often absorb and internalize messages they hear about bodies, food, and self-worth. Over time, these messages can influence their beliefs, emotional wellbeing, and relationship with their own bodies.

One helpful shift is moving away from labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” Using more neutral language—such as “anytime foods” or “occasional foods”—can reduce shame and promote a healthier, more balanced approach to eating.

The impact of comparison on body image

Comparing yourself to others can significantly affect confidence, mood, and stress levels. When comparison becomes habitual, it often reinforces dissatisfaction and self-criticism. Children may also notice this behaviour and learn to measure their own worth against others.

Reducing comparison is not about ignoring reality—it is about letting go of a habit that offers little benefit and often increases emotional distress. Learning to disengage from comparison can help reduce daily stress and support healthier self-esteem for both adults and children.

Empowerment, confidence, and self-worth

Finding ways to empower yourself and your children plays an important role in maintaining healthy self-esteem. This may involve developing interests, hobbies, or extracurricular activities that build a sense of competence, enjoyment, and identity beyond appearance.

In my work as a psychologist, I have seen how engaging in meaningful activities—at any age—can strengthen confidence, improve mood, and support a more balanced sense of self. These strategies are often integrated into therapy for anxiety, low self-esteem, and perfectionism.

Key takeaways for supporting healthy body image

• Refrain from making comments about weight loss or body size.
• Avoid commenting on weight gain.
• If you want to offer a compliment, focus on health, strength, effort, or character rather than appearance (e.g., “You look strong” or “You seem confident”).
• Offer compliments that have nothing to do with body shape or size.
• Avoid commenting on other people’s bodies.
• Teach kindness—toward others and toward oneself.
• Avoid speaking negatively about your own body in front of children.

If body image concerns, low self-esteem, or critical self-talk are affecting your quality of life or your relationship with your children, working with a psychologist through psychotherapy can provide meaningful support and long-term change.

Support is available through in-person counselling in Vaughan and secure virtual psychotherapy across Ontario. To get started, please contact us, call 416-999-3437, or request an appointment online.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is negative self-talk?

Negative self-talk refers to habitual critical or judgmental thoughts about yourself, including your body, abilities, or worth. Over time, this pattern can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Can therapy help improve body image?

Yes. Therapy can help individuals identify unhelpful beliefs about their bodies, reduce self-criticism, and develop more compassionate and balanced ways of thinking.

How does body image affect children?

Children learn about bodies and self-worth largely through observation. Comments from parents or caregivers—about their own bodies or others’—can strongly influence a child’s developing self-esteem.

Is body image counselling only for people with eating disorders?

No. Body image concerns affect people of all ages and backgrounds, even without an eating disorder. Therapy can be helpful whenever appearance-related thoughts interfere with wellbeing.

Is counselling available in Vaughan and online?

Yes. We offer in-person sessions in Vaughan and secure virtual counselling across Ontario.

About the Author

Robert Roopa, M.Ed., C.Psych. is a registered clinical psychologist providing psychotherapy and psychological assessment in Vaughan, Ontario. He works with individuals, parents, and families on concerns related to self-esteem, anxiety, body image, and emotional wellbeing through evidence-based counselling in Vaughan and online across Ontario. Learn more about our psychology practice.